Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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