i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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