im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
