There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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