Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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