so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
