4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
