On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
