Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
