bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
