Tell her she can't have a vagina
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
