When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
