forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
