Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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