And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
organizing the empties. That sober.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
