is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize