Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
