i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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