This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
