Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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