goodnight i made you a song goodbye
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
