Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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