Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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