I wish I only lived at night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Shame is for Republicans.
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