i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
