he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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