If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My vagina is officially offended.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
