yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
