Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
