I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
