i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Don't tell me you're on acid again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize