the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
