I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
