Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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