Did you just see the Batmobile???
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
