nut hugger
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize