Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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