So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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