You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
