Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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