It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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