He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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