I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
