I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
