He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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