honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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