I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
dude. I can hear the air.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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