I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
