I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
