Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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