Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize