somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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