She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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