A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
