I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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