Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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