It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
