the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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