I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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