In the future we'll all be gay
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
