Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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