the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
