Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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