I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
