It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Someone came in the potted fern
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
